How to Keep a Straw From Floating Out of Your Soda Can

How to Keep a Straw From Floating Out of Your Soda Can

Photo: Claire Lower

I do not know if you are aware, but I recently traveled from Portland to New York City to participate in a little collective action. While acting collectively, I also ate collectively with co-workers both old and new. One evening, after a day of marching and chanting, we went out for Korean BBQ, which (naturally) led to me ordering a Diet Coke. (Diet Coke is the Champagne of soda—it goes with everything, and especially salty and fatty things.)

The can came with a plastic (!) straw, which presented a problem. Plastic is very buoyant and, when inserted into the can, the straw promptly floated up and out of said can. Luckily, I am always hacking, even when on strike. (I just withhold my writing about the hacks, you see). I flipped over the little tab used to open the can so it hovered above the hole in the top, then slipped the straw through it. The angled tab kept the straw from rising up and out of the bubbly liquid. “Do you see what I did there?” I said to a fellow worker. “Oh,” he replied. “Neat.”

I know what you’re thinking: Why not just forgo the straw entirely and drink directly from the can? One word, two syllables: lipstick. I’ve also heard that drinking soda through straws is better for your teeth, and every little bit of enamel helps.

And before you say it: Yes, I know this is a fairly old hack—a standard, if you will. But the fellow worker who sat next to me at Korean BBQ did not know it, and I like to think it changed his life. If I can change even one life, writing this silly little blog will have been worth it. (Also, I am still in New York and away from my air fryer, so my ability to produce fresh and exciting content is being hindered. Don’t worry though, I fly back tomorrow.)

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