Image: Julie Vader (Shutterstock)
When one commenter,Sweet Trav, wrote, “I adore canned cranberry sauce. Better than homemade 100% of the time,” we thought he was but stirring the Kinja pot, looking for a mid-day tussle. But when jbrown2112 backed him up, saying, “I even like the ridges, tells me where to cut,” our eyes blinked overtime trying to adjust to this alternate reality. Like the ridges—those pre-fab demarcators of the machine from whence this creation came, and lived in for months? Then people chimed in with their distaste for this approximation of actual cranberry sauce, and all made sense again.
“At least stir it up first. Something about the tube shape with ridges looks obscene. Please don’t serve it that way!” ~AngryBob-VA
“I call it ‘crap from a can.’ Homemade or go home.” ~QADude
As Dr Emilio Lizardo pointed out, “homemade cranberry sauce...takes about as much effort to make as it does to open a can, and it tastes about a thousand times better. I mean, dump three things in a saucepan and simmer for a few minutes. If you can make instant ramen, you can make cranberry sauce.”
DancingPolarBear added that they only “use it on left over sandwiches...as a jelly, if that make sense.” Yes, it does makes sense, DancingPolarBear, because that’s exactly what it is—jelly. Weird, flat, soulless jelly.
But user diasdiem would not be silenced: “All you Anti-Cannies can take your grandmother’s home-made organic artisinal cranberry sauce made with love and a secret blend of spices and shove it up your asses. RIDGES FOREVER!!!”
